“We shall draw from the heart of suffering,
itself the means of inspiration and survival.”
– Winston Churchill
Within the ability of every wounded person, is also the ability to forgive. Yet, most of society still views this journey as circumstances where only hate seems possible. We all recover from trauma slowly, in phases, and over time. The initial shock, guilt, and nightmares all come at different times to either show progress or stall the journey.
While forgiveness self illuminates and brings a new awareness, our own fear begins to distort any possibility of progress. Fear takes the place of truth as the detour on the path of what seems to be a solution, but goes no where. Our only hope seems to become the option of killing the pain by avoiding feelings, blaming others, numbing the pain.
The work of psychologists who have researched post-traumatic stress shows that learning to let go of the destructive emotions that are connected to violent trauma progresses over time, yet with many pitfalls along the way. Yet, how can someone use forgiveness, of ourselves and the person who has harmed us, to achieve inner peace?
The “right” course of action towards forgiveness is one’s own destiny. Surviving violence sends one into pain, but also into a heightened growth period of psychologically and spiritually. Survivors do renew their lives one step at a time, at their own pacing, and with the help of many people. Rage. Despair. Unfairness. Meaninglessness. We ask that the law apply reason and order to our own chaos and madness. Unconsciously we wish for true justice – a rewind button that brings ourselves or loved ones back to a time before the violence. Yet, our current justice system reflects the conflict for revenge with the challenge of rehabilitation. So, why can’t we take the same approach?